I don't even know if there ARE twelve gifts of rejection, but as I recount the lessons I've learned, I bet I could make it work. Anyway, I figured it'd be perfect for the holidays, like the twelve days of Christmas without the eight maids a milkin' and other random gifts you never wanted:)
Gift Number One - Intimacy with God
I met my friend and her husband at our kids' bus stop on a chilly fall morning. We'd had this weird tension between us and I couldn't figure out why, so clearing up the matter would be good.....I thought. Our sons were best friends and neither one of them understood why she was keeping them apart. For several days, I'd had a nagging feeling it wasn't gonna go well, but I brushed it off because there was no earthly reason for conflict.
We shared the usual bus stop small talk and when the kids were gone and we'd walked down the street, I began the conversation. I was there to talk about making arrangements for them to play (as we'd agreed on in several text messages) but her agenda was different. She used the opportunity to tell me everything she thought was wrong with my child and with me as a parent. I was stunned. When I questioned her reasoning and contradicted her words, she yelled, insulted me and told lies about me and my child.
It was one of the most bizarre experiences I've ever had. I listened and when I attempted a rebuttal or sought clarification, she screamed louder and accused me of not listening. It lasted at least ten minutes, but seemed like forever. In that time, she managed to strike at all the tender parts of my life. I felt stripped bare. Her husband tried to calm her down but she was totally out of control and I ended up walking away from the friendship and conversation - bewildered and teary eyed.
As I prayed to God for understanding, He tenderly pointed out my own form of rejection toward Him:
He'd repeatedly tried to prepare my spirit for this assault, but I brushed it aside as "illogical."
In my effort to be a "good neighbor" and a "nice person," I'd also glossed over his truth:
"No good tree bears bad fruit, nor does a bad tree bear good fruit. Each tree is recognized by its own fruit. People do not pick figs from thornbushes, or grapes from briers. The good man brings good things out of the good stored up in his heart, and the evil man brings evil things out of the evil stored up in his heart. For out of the overflow of his heart his mouth speaks. Luke 6:43-45
Thornbushes and briers are prickly and when you get tangled up in them, you get hurt! It was my own fault and I wanted so much to be liked by her, that I ignored obvious signs. As I write, I'm embarrassed, but I'm going to keep going anyway.
We were both new to the area and seemed to have so much in common. Our sons were the same age, in the same class, rode the same bus and I was so excited for him to have a friend and neighbor, that I believed everything she told me. I chose to believe her, even though her actions were contrary to the things she said. She was cute, perky, extremely snarky and sarcastic. She struggled to find a church but found they weren't "spiritual enough" for her. She was arrogant, spoke badly about her parents and siblings, gossiped and spoke openly about God's desires for her life. I judged her as a believer based on her words and not on her behavior.
That came back and bit me in the butt later didn't it!?
It was a necessary lesson and although I cried, I also felt joy. I felt God's comfort, direction and love in spite of the pain.
Gift Number 2 comes in the next post.....
I'm loving the "rejection" lessons:) Good stuff!
Posted by: Lisa Jones | 01/08/2011 at 08:40 PM