Stubborn Ass

"See, I am doing a new thing!  Now it springs up; do you not perceive it?  I am making a way in the desert and streams in the wasteland."  Isaiah 43:15 

Sometimes God wants to do a new thing in me and I become afraid because of an old thing.  It may be due to an old negative experience, an old bad attitude or an old fear that suddenly reappears.  I've been wrestling with this lately because the leadership of my church asked me to take on the role of "volunteer coordinator."  This is a role I've played before and have turned down in other places recently because let's face it, people run from Volunteer Coordinators.

Volunteer Coordinator.  The more I say it, the more distasteful it sounds, but here's the problem.... I'm pretty good at it.  I don't know how it even happened this time because I've been serving as the leader of a different team and this wasn't on my radar.  There are aspects of the role however, that highly appeal to me.  I love seeing lives transformed by Christ through service to others.  I love helping people discover their spiritual gifts and watching them blossom in ways they've never imagined. 

I've prayed about it all week and this morning before church, I took my Bible, opened it on my lap and prayed, "Lord, let me just rest with you today and hear your voice."  A gentle breeze blew the page over so I looked down at the passage: "Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit, but in humility consider others better than yourselves.  Each of you should look not only to your own interests, but also to the interests of others." Philippians 2:3-4.  I decided I should serve in this position.

By the time I got out of the shower I'd changed my mind and was prepared to explain, all the reasons why I couldn't.  This, by the way, is why churches need Volunteer Coordinators to begin with.  It's because people like me get tapped for certain tasks we don't necessarily want to do.  We make excuses like, "I'm too busy."  "I have other plans." or "I think God has something else in mind for me."  

Instead of serving like Christ, we wait for something that's more convenient and doesn't take too much time, energy or sacrifice.  Here's the other problem, I'm gifted for this role. My spiritual gifts line up perfectly here.  So what's the big obstacle?  There are two - me and my husband.  Me because I've got plans.  My husband because if I did this, I'd have to be ultra disciplined so it didn't get in the way of his plans.  That's a lot of extra work and sacrifice and it tires me out just thinking about it, so I decided it wasn't for me.

Then I went to church and you guessed it, my pastor was preaching on the exact same verse in Philippians 2:3-4. Then he got out a towel and a bowl of water and moved on to his next verse as he washed the feet of one of our church's volunteers.  He told the story of Jesus' washing his disciples' feet (John 13:5-17) which is the verse that inspired me to clean the church office in the first place, so I was in tears.  "I hear you Lord." I prayed, and apologized for my selfishness and reluctance at serving in that role. By the time I'd gotten to my car I started to have doubts again.  As I was driving home I prayed, "I'm not sure God.  I know I have to trust you with this but is it gonna be a new thing or is it just a big distraction? I need to really hear from you!"  Just then, a big, black, jacked-up truck pulled in front of me with this sign painted in the rear window:

                                                  

                                                   Stubborn 

                                                        Ass

Have you ever prayed for a sign from God?  Have you ever gotten one?  I don't doubt I did; He just told me about the way I've been acting. Now I know what I have to do.  Clearly. I heard it through scripture, I heard it through a Godly man and I saw the sign I prayed for (although that was NOT what I expected.) God speaks to us today.  I will follow and I'm grateful that He leads...

"I am the good shepherd; I know my sheep and my sheep know me."  Jesus (John 10:14)

"My sheep listen to my voice; I know them, and they follow me."  Jesus (John 10:27)

Comments

[Lisa Arnold]

I love this posting! Love. Love. Love. Love. Love! Got my point? I love to see God in action.

Also, these are the exact things I was talking about today with another woman -- listening to God. AND the fact that sometimes in our own human lack of listening skills, we need a flashing neon sign.

Just remember, (even though she ran away) it was also a "stubborn ass" who first saw the angel of the Lord. (Nu 22)

I believe God will do great things through you.

Can't wait to "see" what you watch unfold!

[Amy Heer]

ACK!!! Seriously? Thoughts of developing a volunteer coordinator position have been flowing through me over the past several months...along with every excuse in the book on why it wouldn't work and all the fears associated...and mostly concerned it was a distraction and not God's calling. I still don't know what the "right" answer is...but it is probably time to shift from "drive-by" praying to "bended-knee" praying.