Outcome

"Love must be sincere.  Hate what is evil; cling to what is good."  Romans 12:9

I have been avoiding my neighbors - the ones I wrote about in Hard Core Part 2.  I've been avoiding them because I needed to teach my son a lesson and I thought time would bring a little healing.  Instead, for me, it's only gotten worse.  Every time I walk my dog, I look down at their end of the street and feel sadness and disappointment.  I also feel mad. 

"Sincere" in the scripture above literally translates "unhyprocritical".  True love must be unhypocritical and I'm in danger of being a hypocrite in this matter.   I know what needs to be done - what God wants me to do - but I don't want to.  I also know that because I'm a follower of Christ, I need to take the first step towards total reconciliation.  

"Whoever serves me must follow me; and where I am, my servant will also be, My Father will honor the one who serves me."  John 12:26

This has to end with me.  At times this week, I've resolved to make amends and then the desire passes away and I feel crusty again.  I asked God to help me understand my reluctance about extending myself in love and to shine a light in the dark area of my heart and of course He did.  It's pride.  

When she attacked me, she not only unjustly came after my son, she targeted the one area of my life in which I feel moderately competent.  She attacked my parenting.   I strive to be a "good" parent; a Godly parent to my kids, and she (unbeknownst to her) honed in on the one area that gets right at my heart.  God also showed me that I've been worrying about the outcome.  All sorts of "What ifs....." clutter my mind but He let me know that the outcome is not my concern, it's His.

I feels better knowing, but my human nature still wants a little revenge.  Instead, I'm going to buy her flowers for her garden and bake cookies for her family because when I prayed about what to do, this came to mind:

".....If your enemy is hungry, feed him; if he is thirsty, give him something to drink.  In doing this, you will heap burning coals on his head."  Romans 12:20

I only remembered the "if your enemy is hungry, feed him" part, but now that I looked up the rest of the scripture, the "burning coals" part makes me smile.  And just so you don't think too highly of me, I've been editing out the many snarky comments that have been popping into my mind as I write about this.  She's not my true enemy, but the enemy of my soul isn't going to win this one.  

I'll let you know what happens.  

Comments

[Lisa Arnold]

Just today I came to Matthew 5:14-16. I know you'll do as He asks. It is not the end outcome but the process that glorifies Him most.

[snarkle]...I've gotten a Chester Cat grin on my face before with the "coals" part too :)