Hard core - Part 2

I felt it before I realized what it was.  Have you ever walked away from a conversation feeling icky - like something's not quite right, but you don't know what?  That's how I felt a few days ago when I went to get my son from his friend "Steve's" house.  Steve's mom was outside and we talked as usual, but there was an edge to her voice.  I was so tired from the constant company and the moving that it only hovered around the fringes of my conscious mind.  She said that her boys hadn't been down to my end of the street because they'd gotten in trouble for peeing in someone's shower, while they were supposed to be at my home.  She mentioned Spike's name, but I hadn't heard the story from him. After all, what 8-year old boy is going to own up to that?  I asked him about it on the walk home and he said, "Oh yeah, that was "Bob" (another kid).  I could believe it.  Bob and Steve pee all over the neighborhood.

Two days ago Spike came home upset.  He told me that his other friend's mom said he couldn't play on their end of the street anymore; my stomach sank.  He was friends with that boy, but not like with Steve.  This boy - I'll call him Joey - was older and a tough kid, kind of like a semi-friendly bully.  His mom can only be characterized as a "tough girl".  We don't have much in common except our sons, but I like her well enough and have made a concerted effort to get to know her.  She's always telling me stories about how she's kicking one kid or another off of her street for various infractions, so I knew Spike wasn't exaggerating.  I also knew this wasn't going to go away or get any better with time, so I went to try to work things out.  I prayed to God that she'd be open to a conversation and I asked Him to strengthen me and make me like His son.  Thank God I did, because it was the only thing that prepared me for the verbal barrage of accusations and insults.  To make a long story short, she yelled at me for many things:  some of which were totally unfounded and some of which held a grain of truth.  An example of both...

Unfounded:  I let my child go wherever he wants - unsupervised.

Truth:  He rides his bike near her truck and rings the doorbell on her gate.

She kept spewing all sorts of things and I kept saying, "I'm sorry you feel that way "Debbie".  If I'd known and you'd come to me when these things were happening we could have talked about it." At one point she stood, hands on hips and yelled, "I'm not going to get into this with you right now!"  I just stood there. Frustration, anger, and rage were in her voice and face, and at one point I noticed that her hands were shaking.  She mentioned that she wasn't the only one who had problems with Spike...there were "others". She said she was tired of her son getting blamed for things (he has a reputation).  I said, "So basically you and the other neighbors have been talking about us behind our backs and no one's bothered to talk to us directly?"  Her reply was filled with much stuttering and blaming and she continued spewing. I continued to listen, didn't try to argue my points or refute her and to my surprise, everything started turning around.  She began apologizing for not talking to me, she started telling me about other things that had been frustrating her and how she'd just lost it and blew up on Spike and the other kid he was with.  All of a sudden she came from behind her fence and said, "I'm going to come over and just give you a hug." And she did. I think I hugged her back - I'm not sure because I was weirded out - and then she said, "I love you."

At that point, "Steve's" mom came down from her deck and pitched in her two cents.  I knew she was watching the whole time and that's when tears started to form in my eyes.  I tried so hard to hold it back, but for over a year she and I had actually formed a friendship and I was surprised by her silence.  Unlike Debbie, she's a Christian and unlike Debbie, she didn't apologize for her contribution to the mess.  I cried all the way home.  I turned my disappointment over to God and gave my son a big hug, because he honestly didn't understand what'd happened.  I don't know what will become of it all, but I'm going to let God and time apart do the healing in all of us.   

Jesus was hard core; His love made a lasting impression.  His love changed lives.  He said, 

"You have heard that it was said, 'Love your neighbor and hate your enemy.'  But I tell you:  Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you, that you may be sons of your Father in heaven.  He causes his sun to rise on the evil and the good, and sends rain on the righteous and the unrighteous.  If you love those who love you, what reward will you get?  Are not even the tax collectors doing that? And if you greet only your brothers, what are you doing more than others?  Do not even pagans do that?  Be perfect, therefore, as your heavenly Father is perfect."  

Grace is given freely to everyone by God so it has to be given freely by we who are his children and I've got a long way to go before I get to perfect.

Comments

[Anna]

Wow, Erika! God is writing an amazing story of love and redemption in your neighborhood...I can see it! You are obviously there for a reason, and God is working through you. Thanks so much for sharing this!

[Leslie]

You are exactly where God wants you to be right now. I totally agree with Anna's comments.

Stay strong, be patient, I truly believe God is doing a great work through you. I am praying for you!!!

Ephesians 2:10
For we are God's workmanship, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do.