"Whoever finds his life will lose it, and whoever loses his life for my sake will find it." (Jesus) Matt 10:39
I just had a weird flash of "What if" thought while meditating on God's awesomeness. I'll have to provide a bit of back story in order for you to understand it. My husband and I are not on the same page about many things in life, and this causes a level of conflict within my heart. I learned years ago that God has a way and an order of things, and my first priority is to yield to Him in all of it. It means that I put myself, my thoughts and ideas aside and just let go. It's wonderful in theory - it's called submission - but very difficult in practice, especially if I want to get my own way with things (which is fairly often).
This morning was one of those times. I want my way on something and my husband, "does not believe in it". The "it" in question is a biblically sound and wise way of living, but I'm not in the business of controlling anyone's beliefs and I know there's no sense in arguing, so I've remained patient and in prayer. Also, know that I've been in prayer about this thing for over a full year now, so being patient about something often means what you want can take a really, really, long time - which ironically requires patience. Thank God for the fruit of the spirit.
Anyway, back to my story. This morning, out of the blue, the subject of "it" comes up again. I wearily explain my point of view and return to my room because I'm sick with some kind of bug and really don't want to be bothered. My husband gets a phone call - which I'm not paying any attention to - and then comes in the room, tosses his Iphone on the bed and commands me to read. The Iphone contains an e-mail from a professional with her recommendation about the "it". The e-mail outlines perfectly everything I've been saying and backs it up with numbers, statistics and data (which is something my husband needs for his own peace of mind.). He says, "OK". OK! He agrees that we need to do this.
I had to get down on my knees and Thank God for his provision. He's provided another voice of reason to gently change the heart of my husband. In my amazement, the scripture above came to my mind and the "What if" thoughts as well.
"What if.... it were as easy as just letting go?
"What if.....I'd have been practicing that letting go all along?
"What if.....I really lose my life on everything? I wonder what I will find and yet know that it's not my business.
"What if....all those things I thought I "should do" were not according to His plan anyway?
The word "lose" in that passage means to "destroy utterly" and the word "find" to gain/obtain. The key however is in the phrase "for my sake". What it boils down to is trust. Do I trust God and do I live for His sake? Do you?
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