Full Life

"The thief's purpose is to steal and kill and destroy.  My purpose is to give them a rich and satisfying life."        Jesus (John 10:10)

Mother guilt is one of the most self defeating emotions a woman can feel.  I should know, I've struggled with it for years.  In fact, I was just researching a date in one of my old journals and found this entry:

"I am still not able to balance well - home, work, and desire, but I feel like I'm supposed to do it all.  There is a piece of the puzzle I'm missing, a time element that I could be utilizing...time is killing me again."

My problem wasn't lack of time.  God gives us all the same 24 hours in a day and 365 days in a year - we are all given exactly the same amount.  What was wrong with me?  I know I'm not alone in feeling that something was wrong with me.  I frequently hear exhausted women complain about lack of quality family time, snapping at their kids and the inability or energy to take care of themselves.  They're too tired to nurture critical friendships, have sex with their husbands and often don't pursue activities and dreams that supply life giving energy.  Last year was a particularly difficult year for me in many ways.  Not in busyness, I was busy, but by then I'd learned how to say "no" and I said it to everyone and almost everything.  This wasn't because I had firm boundaries (although I was working on boundaries) but because I was so burnt out and sick that I thought I'd die if I didn't.  

The thief had come and taken.  Now, almost a year later I'm in a figuratively, and literally different place and I thank God for carrying me here.  Why do we do it ladies?  Why cram our lives with unimportant crap?  For whom do we do it?  It's not the life God has in mind for us.  I thank God for full life in Christ - all the parts of it - the deep and the shallow.  God's mixed my passions, gifts and desires all together and produced fruit....love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, gentleness, and self-control. Am I perfect?  No way!  Is he finished?  No, but I'm on the way. Did He have to smack me around a bit?  Tons!  Is it worth it?  Absolutely!  

Time wasn't my enemy, but my enemy used time against me.  Now, I'm using it against him (sucka).  I'm focusing on passion, gifts and dreams and using them for God's glory - but it's taking time.  One of my passions is gardening and since I no longer have land of my own, I've had to be creative with containers.  I was planting the other day and Miss Sassy said, "Mom, I don't know why you bother, you just end up killing everything."  (Get behind me Satan)  I thought about it and said, "That was the old me, the one who didn't have time to pay attention and care for what I was trying to grow." 

 Don't get frustrated with the dead and empty areas of your life...

Don't let Satan gain even a little bit of ground.

Allow God to grow you and produce fruit that means something to both of you and be patient, these things take time.

Joy will follow.

Incidentally, in no way do I think Miss Sassy is Satan, but he doesn't care who he uses.  About my little garden, all of my kids encourage me and say, "Wow mom, they're actually growing! You're doing a good job."  But I've just planted and watered - God's taking care of the growth. 

 

 

Comments

[Lisa A]

THIS IS GOBSMACKING FANTASTIC! YES! I AM YELLING! CAN'T YOU HEAR ME ALL THE WAY FROM THE 703?!?!?!

I CANNOT WAIT TO TALK WITH YOU, SO I CAN...windex.

Ok, I'm sitting down now. Thank you for this wonderfully beautiful post. Love you.